What’s the Deal with 50 Shades of Grey?

Even if you haven’t read it or fallen under its spell, you’d have to have been living under a rock to not have heard of the book 50 Shades of Grey by now. It’s been on the nightstands of women young and old and plastered all over the media and social networking sites for the last year or so. Along with the hype around the book is the endless hoopla around the upcoming movie version. People went completely bonkers when they learned it was going to be turned into the film and just as that started to die down the horny masses took to Twitter to poo-poo on the casting of Christian Grey’s character who was to be played by the ever-scrumptious Charlie Hunnam of Sons of Anarchy fame. Just as knickers around the world began to untwist as we all warmed up to the idea, they’ve just dropped a new bomb by announcing that Charlie is out and they’re considering other actors for the controversial role. If you’re asking yourself ‘who cares?’, then chances are that you’ve not read the series or you’re a man.

Many men don’t really get what is the deal behind the whole Fifty Shades phenomenon. This is something that is very (1painfully) clear when you think of some of the men that friends of mine have dated recently.

He Ain’t No Christian Grey

A friend recently dated a man who hadn’t read the Fifty Shades of Grey books. Though he could care less about the book itself, he did want to get in on whatever it was that had her all hot and bothered so sent him screenshots of a few pages to let him know what sort of thing the book was about. He tried to replicate some of the scenes that she had sent him and, well, it all went a bit horribly wrong. He hadn’t really understood the concept of why someone would want to be tied up and brought to orgasm with the assistance of a riding crop. He didn’t get what the allure actually was, since let’s face it; it’s not about the actual act so much as the mindset and intention. All this poor guy did was freak my friend right out. He was no Christian Grey!

It’s the same deal with a lot of guys even after all the hype around the book. Huh? What’s that? 50 Shades? Wasn’t that the smutty book for women?

Silly boys have no clue.

Erotic literature it was and although the quality of the writing within the book has been questioned on a few occasions, overall it’s a pretty good read. Unless guys read the whole book and see the bigger picture, however, it will still not be as understood as it should be—hence my friend’s unfortunate night o’ bondage.

For the guys and girls out there that don’t get the whole 50 Shades of Grey concept, let me let you in on why so many women (1and I suppose a few men) out there find it incredibly sexy. You can’t really judge something until you’ve taken the time to fully understand it and maybe even tried it yourself—once you FULLY understand it that is. So for you, here is a little bondage 101.

Close your eyes

Being blindfolded just heightens the other senses. When you can’t see what is going on, every sensation is multiplied in its intensity. The slightest touch sends shivers through your body and because you never know what part of your body is going to be touched next, the anticipation drives you even crazier still.

Hands behind your back

Being tied up is like losing control. You are scared of what is going on and what could happen but at the same time, it’s a scary that is very sexy at the same time. You are vulnerable to the other person, which is why it is always best to try these things with someone that you love and trust, but at the same time, when you have a connection, the sensations that you will get out of it are among the most powerful sensations that you will ever feel in your life.

Does it hurt?

Although pain in a concept that runs through the book on several occasions, it’s not something that you don’t have to try if you don’t want to. BDSM isn’t about hurting yourself if pain doesn’t turn you on. It’s about losing control to a point where you are turned on. Whether you give up your arms or legs, hands, eyes or ears, you have given someone else power, or take the position of the powerful one yourself, to control your heaven; your climax. What’s sexier than that?

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