Why Do We Kiss?

If you take the time to stop and think about it, kissing is pretty weird. After all, you’re deliberately putting your germ-ridden mouth on someone else’s germ-ridden mouth, plunging your tongue inside as if you’re doing a thorough dental examination and swallowing their spit. Of course, sex is equally ridiculous if you think about it too much, but at least the possibility of getting pregnant gives sex a reason to exist. Kissing, on the other hand, can seem a little pointless. So why exactly do we kiss?

Explanation Number 1

There is a school of thought that says we kiss because we’re mammals. Basically, this approach (1which is known as the “psychobiosocial” approach, if you like long words) says that we kiss because of the way we feed as babies. During nursing or breastfeeding children use their mouths and tongues to get nourishment, and this is obviously a time where mother and child bond and develop feelings of affection. Because of this we come to associate our mouths with not only satisfying hunger but also with affection, love and feelings of security. So explanation number one says that we kiss because we’re milk drinkers. Not convinced? It’s okay, we’re not done yet, there’s another opinion…

Explanation Number 2

The evolutionary school of thought says that we kiss as a way of testing out a partner. Obviously, from an evolutionary point of view, you want a partner that’s going to be a good match, a healthy parent and a good caregiver or provider. Some scientists think that kissing is part of a testing process to see how good a partner is going to be. Alright, so you’re not actually consciously processing all the information that you’re getting when you kiss someone, but subconsciously you’re being given all kinds of chemical messages from the pheromones that you’re getting from your partner. Scientists think that these messages tell your brain how good a match this person will be, and possibly could even be giving your brain information about how healthy a partner is. Weird, but possible.

Explanation Number 3

And on to our last theory. The final school of thought says that we kiss pretty much because it feels good. This may be because socially we’re encouraged to see kissing as a precursor to sex, which we want to have, therefore kissing holds the promise of something that we want. But it’s also due to chemicals released by the body during kissing. More dopamine means that your body starts to feel excited and full of desire, and these are nice feelings. Plus, in longer term relationships kissing results in the release of oxytocin, which encourages your brain to feel a sense of attachment or bonding. This is kind of a chicken and egg approach though, since we don’t know if the body releases these chemicals because we’re kissing per se, or because we associate kissing with foreplay and therefore sex.

The only real answer to the question of why we kiss is that we really don’t know. What we do know is that kissing feels awesome, and it’s seriously sexy, so even if you don’t know why you’re doing it, we don’t suggest for a moment that you stop.

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